Best Christmas Ever!
by Kusco
Summary: When Rapunzel goes missing just before the Royal Christmas Celebration, it's up to Eugene Fitzherbert (nee Flynn Rider) to find her.


When Eugene's eyes dragged open, two things occurred to him. The first, was that Rapunzel wasn't with him. This didn't alarm him, however, since she typically got up before he did. He had just thought that with it being Christmas she might actually sleep in for once.

That was the second thing. It was Christmas.

Eugene popped up from his pillows.

Christmas!

It didn't matter how much of a cynic he had been and sometimes still was, he had always had a soft spot for that time of year. He loved it all, the tinsel, the trees, the presents, and the food. Especially the food. He'd loved it as a thief/ne'er-do-well/dashing rogue, and he loved it even more now that he didn't have to occasionally steal it. He'd had three Christmases in the palace and he expected the fourth to top all the rest.

With a festive spring in his step he slipped out a bed, careful to place his feet into the slippers he kept near his bed. After pulling on a heavy robe he made his way to the balcony he and Rapunzel shared so he could take in the view. Sure it was probably a pointless morning ritual, but he'd gotten used to the view from atop the castle the first time he'd ever been there.

Of course as he settled his elbow on the balcony's ornately carved rail and drank in the sights of Corona, it became immediately apparent that he wouldn't really need the robe for much longer. I had been unseasonably warm this year and it looked like Christmas day wasn't going to be the exception.

A tiny squeak brought his eyes from the landscape and back to the balcony, where Pascal had appeared wearing some sort of Christmas ribbon around his neck. So apparently Rapunzel had already made herself a bit busy this Christmas morning.

"How do you like it?" Eugene said nodding toward the city. "Not a drop of snow on the ground, not a puddle of slush to be seen. I'm telling you, Christmas should be like this every year."

Pascal let out a disgruntle squeak and crossed his arms.

"Oh don't be like that," Eugene rolled his eyes. "After what Rapunzel and me went through up in Arrendale this last summer, I think I'm due a nice warm Christmas."

Pascal rolled his eyes, sick to death of hearing over and over about all the hubbabulloo that happened up in Arrendale. It was interesting the first time but people wouldn't shut up about it.

"So Squeaker, where is she anyway?" Eugene said then sighed when Pascal acted like he didn't know. "Oh come on, like Rapunzel could go anywhere and you not know about it."

The Chameleon merely shrugged his shoulders and grumbled confusedly. Eugene raised a brow but decided to leave it well enough alone. If they wanted to play a game of hide-and-seek he would go along with it. At least he would as soon as he got some food.

After putting on some clothes, he made his way through the palace. When he'd first arrived the place had seemed like a dangerous maze, not only were there so many wrong turns they could make, but a life time living on the wrong side of the law made each step wary that his fortune would suddenly turn and he would be trapped in a place filled with palace guards.

Over the years since then he'd grown quite accustomed to it though. He knew his way around well enough and even made friends with a few of the servants and officials that lived and worked here. The fact that he had married Rapunzel also helped cement the fact that he no longer had anything to worry about.

Another thing he'd quickly warmed to was the festive nature the castle took on during the holidays. He had been told that his parents-in-law hadn't been much into decorating the palace before but now that Rapunzel was back they went all out. Garlands and holly hung in the hallways, Wreaths adorned just about every door, and the smell of gingerbread perpetually wafted from the kitchens. Eugene's primary destination.

Just before he arrived, however, he ran into what was perhaps the one sore spot in his new living condition. The one thing that constantly reminded him of his former life; or rather the one person that did so. He stood there just outside the kitchen, giving orders to a guard to double a patrol. A regular stick in the mud, even during the holidays.

"And if anyone so much as touches the eggnog Maximus will hear about it from me!" the former captain of the guard, growled at the retreating guard, his sneer peaking out under his mustache.

"Merry Christmas Eliot!" Eugene called out, hoping to bypass any confrontation with a reminder of what day it was.

"Rider," he grumbled but offered a tight bow.

"Oh come one, It's Fitzherbert now, you're literally the only one in the palace that calls me that," Eugene said.

"Well someone needs to remember who you are," came the reply.

"Believe me, if anyone does it's your boss," Eugene said then looked around conspiratorially. "Where is Max anyway?"

"Overseeing the troop gift exchange," Eliot said through gritted teeth. "Probably rolling around in a pile of apples."

Eugene couldn't help but chuckle. Ever since taking the position of Captain of the Guard, Maximus had proven to be a strict task master, driving crime down to an all time low and driving up the discipline required of his troops. His troops had soon learned that Maximus had a monstrous hunger for justice… and apples. And they also knew he wouldn't question receiving apples at all on Christmas day.

"Laugh all you want Rider," Eliot said. "But mark my words that something bad is going to happen with all those thugs wandering around the palace right now."

"What… the Snuggly Duckling Gang?" Eugene said. "They're harmless."

"Last time they were all here they assaulted guards and effected prison break."

"I know, I was very much there, besides they didn't do anything when they attended the wedding."

"Your cake-"

"Let's not talk about that!" Eugene cut him off. "The entire country agreed we wouldn't talk about the cake incident, come on Eliot you know that."

"Just saying…"

"You know what? I didn't come here to have you remind me of awkward memories and five alarm fires, you seen Rapunzel?"

Eliot's stern features softened just a bit at the mention of her name. It was no secret that while Eugene was well liked by many in the palace… everyone loved Rapunzel. He of course knew why that was, he had started doing it before it was trendy after all. But still, it was somewhat amusing to see Eliot's tough guy façade drop at the mere mention of her name.

"I saw here earlier," Eliot said then fumbled in his pocket and pulled out a hand painted Christmas card. "Gave me this… tell her thanks for me would you?"

"Sure…" Eugene nodded, recognizing the familiar curves and bright colors of Rapunzel's style. He'd seen a few other cards like that with other servants. When had she found the time to make those… and more importantly… did she make a card for every member of the palace staff? "… what direction did she go after she gave you this."

Eliot opened his mouth to answer but then his brows furrowed. His paranoia seemed to resurface for a moment as he realized he needed to give information about the Lost Princess whereabouts to someone he would always consider a criminal. But his good judgment won out and he sighed.

"Courtyard," he said.

"See, I knew even you weren't immune to holiday cheer!"

The next hour wound up being one filled with confusion for Eugene. He went straight to the courtyard and had to just stand there and marvel, just as he and Rapunzel had done just a few days ealier, at the massive Christmas tree that had been brought in from the forest. It stood in the center of the courtyard, adorned with every type of decoration imaginable and a Corona Sun filling in as the topper. With all the tables set up to surround it, he knew he and Rapunzel would have plenty of time to admire it later that night… assuming he could find her.

He did, however, find his old pub thug associates milling about, getting ready for the big Christmas bash the palace was throwing later in the day.

Hookhand busied himself directing a couple of the guys Eugene had never met before in tuning the piano. Well directing was a probably not the most accurate word. More like heavily implying that he wouldn't be the only hook handed musician in the kingdom if they didn't get it right. He had standards to keep up after all.

Gunter had been given free reign by the courtyard and had redecorated it into a Yule Tide wonderland. From the ice sculptures, to the silver and gold table centerpieces, to the Christmas themed paper lanterns hanging above to supply light once the sun went down, Eugene could only whistle at how amazing the festivities promised to be. He also made sure to note exactly where the mistletoe was placed. Both so he could 'accidentally' lead Rapunzel under it and so he could make sure to not accidentally step under it. More than a few courtly ladies would use it as an excuse to steal a smooch from the taken prince consort.

But as splendid as it all was, the only trace of Rapunzel he could find was the fact that all of them had hand painted Rapunzel originals just like Eliot had. While it was sweet, he was less interested in the painter and not her work. One by one he asked each of the thugs if they knew where Rapunzel was. Each of them didn't have an idea until… until he reached the very last one he wanted to talk to.

"Okay Ulf," Eugene sighed. "Atilla said you were the last one Rapunzel talked to before she left. Do you know where she went?"

Ulf nodded enthusiastically.

"Great…" Eugene found himself muttering but quickly snapped back on point. "So can you tell me where she is?"

Ulf cupped either side of his face and shook his head.

"Right…" Eugene rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Can you… mime… me where she is?"

Ulf clapped his hands merrily and began pantomiming what was probably Rapunzel handing out the cards or something. At one point it looked as though Rapunzel had fought a dragon or maybe a pot roast, it was all as frustrating as it was annoying. Finally Ulf mimicked riding a horse.

"The Stables? Is she at the stables?" Eugene popped up from the chair he's sank into halfway through the performance.

Ulf nodded.

"Then what was all that other stuff!? Why didn't you just say that in the first place!?"

Ulf just shook his index finger at him then pointed at the Christmas tree.

"No." Eugene snapped. "I don't care if it's Christmas. Seriously Ulf! You're the worst! Bah humbug!"

Eugene stomped away, fully aware that Ulf was smiling knowingly the entire way.

The trip to the stables proved to be more complicated than he imagined. Every few steps he had to stop to avoid running into a server carrying trays from the kitchen. The entire palace staff seemed occupied with it; pushing carts, balancing saucers, carrying barrels. The hallways filled with the hearty aromas of roast duck, venison, and turkey. With each passing moment Eugene felt his stomach wake up and growl for just a taste of the upcoming feast.

But he was on a mission and food would come later.

By the time he finally reached the stables he was hungry, a little agitated, and actively trying to ignore the Christmas decorations on every stall. Apparently Gunter had been here too and had decided to make it poinsettia central; which would be fine if he found Rapunzel in the middle of it all. But without her it was just a place that looked being eaten by a red and green plant invasion.

Eugene made his way to Max's stable. It had mercifully been spared the poinsettia apocalypse… or maybe Max had just eaten them all. Either way it was a port in a red storm and the most likely place to find Rapunzel. Why else would she be at the stables?

"Hey Max," he said, finding the horse sitting near a pile of apples. "Enjoying the Christmas haul?"

Max only grinned then gestured toward a painting of himself fighting a criminal bear.

"Yeah, so Rapunzel's been here too, you saw which way she went?"

The horse stood up and nodded, gesturing for Eugene to follow.

"See? You can't talk and you only barely like me and yet you're a million times more helpful than Ulf!"

Maximus furrowed his brows at the mention of that name and let out a snort.

"Exactly! That's what I told him when I left! Santa probably skipped his house every year just cause he was so creepy."

The horse merely nodded and they walked together in companionable silence until both of them realized that they were walking beside each other in companionable silence. And with each clip clop of Max's hoofs it grew steadily more uncomfortable.

"You know… I might have stolen something last week if it will make it less awkward. You could get your guards to look into it."

Maximus sighed with relief and gestured toward the far end of the stables where Rapunzel supposedly was. Eugene waved goodbye as the horse captain of the guard marched off to put his troops on the case. So what if Eugene didn't actually steal anything, it was enough to maintain the status quo between him and Max.

Finally Eugene game up on the end of the stable and heard the laughter of small children. Suddenly he knew why Rapunzel was there. Every year they hosted the local orphanages as part of their Christmas celebrations. Of course Rapunzel would be with them, spreading holiday cheer!

But as he reached the last stall, he didn't find his missing wife. No, instead he found is in-laws. The King and Queen stood in a stable, surrounded by orphans putting on some sort of Nativity scene. The kids filled all the parts of the holy family, the wise men, and the shepherds, with the King dressed as the donkey and the Queen dressed as the Christmas Star.

They all laughed merrily, completely oblivious to the fact that they were the rulers of the kingdom and they looked absolutely ridiculous. Eugene just stared for a long moment, even temporarily forgetting that he was looking for Rapunzel. He just couldn't wrap his mind around the scene before him. He'd seen both of these people kow foreign diplomats and generals with a hard stare… but this was… this was…

The King and Queen noticed him, suddenly realizing they'd been caught. They glanced at each other and then back at him in awkward silence. Eugene stood there, searching in his mind for any hint of his usual suavity and improvisation skills. Something to smooth this embarrassment over. Instead all he managed was…

"I gotta go… to that… other… place… in the castl…"

He just trailed off and made a hasty exit.

It took a few minutes to recover himself. Alternating between horror and snickering laughter. He couldn't wait until he told Rapunzel about it.

Rapunzel.

Where was she?

The trail had grown cold and it was getting close to the start of festivities. She never missed them. She was maybe the only person he knew that liked Christmas more than he did. Just the night before she was commenting on how big the celebration was going to be and how she couldn't believe it and how it wasn't what she was used to at all.

Then it hit him. He knew exactly where she was.

He set off into a quick jog then a run until he reached some stairs. He started taking them two at a time but then he realized he needed to pace himself and slowed down. He had a lot of stairs yet to go yet and there wouldn't be any magical hair to pull him up.

And up he went, the stairs circling around as he ascended to the very top of the castles highest tower. Up here it didn't matter how unseasonably warm it was in the courtyard. Up here it was still chilly and he rubbed his arms as he continued his ascent. He knew she was up here but that didn't stop him from wishing she'd chosen some other place to hide.

Finally he reached the top of the tower and paused for a few deep breaths. He was in plenty of shape but that still didn't stop this from being quite the trek. Once he'd finally got a hold of himself he gave a couple of small knocks on the door before peeking in and spotting her sitting by the window staring out.

"Hey Blondie, Merry Christmas," he said as he approached her.

Rapunzel looked up to him, clearing a stray piece of her burnette hair over her ear. She smiled warmly up at him and took his hand.

"Merry Christmas 'Flynn Rider'."

"So…" he said, taking a seat next to her, glancing out onto the view before looking to her again. "… Any reason you're up here in the tower instead of down there having fun with the rest of us?"

"I started to," Rapunzel said. "I managed to hand out almost all my cards. But…"

"… but then you came up here."

"Yeah…" she said. "It's just… it's all so wonderful. The food, the decorations, the presents! Each Christmas we do even more, and all I could think about was that for most my life… every Christmas was like this. Up here, by myself, in a tower. "

"Gothel didn't spend Christmas with you?"

"Not usually," Rapunzel said. "I mean at first she did, but as soon as I was old enough she started leaving me, probably to go celebrate with people she actually liked. She'd usually give me a present or a treat a couple of days before and then go off."

"She was horrible."

"A couple of years she cancelled Christmas altogether."

"What? Why?"

"The first year it was because I mumbled the song so I could tell her what I wanted for Christmas. The second time was when I had said that someday I would be as beautiful as she was."

"Okay, so we need to go to the Royal Library and look at a thesaurus. I need to find a word worse than horrible to describe her."

Rapunzel offered a half smile.

"So if your Christmases were so lonely," Eugene said. "Then why come up here and recreate one?"

"I don't know," Rapunzel shook her head. "I guess I just wanted to remind myself. It's just a lot to take in. I mean sometimes I wonder if I even deserve all of this stuff."

"Well that I understand," he squeezed her hand and she looked at him. "Growing up as an orphan with nothing at all, Christmas was exciting because we might actually get something to celebrate with. But usually it was just second helpings or something like that. Pudding if we were really lucky. Now… even now when we get these feasts and gifts, the five year old orphan in me still expects them to be taken away."

"Mo… Gothel took away a few of my Christmas presents," Rapunzel scooted closer to him. "… I guess that's part of it too. All of these Christmas trappings are wonderful but part of me knows they can be taken away."

"See but the difference between now and then," Eugene said. "Is that back then, we only had ourselves to look out for us. Now… Rapunzel you have your parents, and your friends, and Max and Pascal. Everyone of them wants nothing more than for you to be happy."

"That's fine," she a genuine smile crept up her lips. "But… I would have none of them without you."

"And none of it would matter for me without you," he smiled as she cradled her head on his shoulder. "And that's what makes Christmas work for me. All of these trappings can be taken away but it will always be a merry one for me as long as you're around to share it."

"Me too," she said.

Together they sat, staring out the window at the vast kingdom they'd stumbled into three years before. Some clouds had begun to form near the docks but otherwise the sun shown brightly. That excitement he'd felt on waking up had settled into his chest as a simple warm glow. He knew that regardless as to what happened in their celebration; if Max or Pascal accidentally wrecked the tree, or if Vladimir got in a fist fight with half the palace guards, or even if all the food was burned and presents stolen…this would still be the best Christmas yet.

"Okay," Rapunzel stood up, her usual vibrancy reappearing. "Let's go!"

"Go where?"

"To the party silly! People will talk if we don't show! And I promised Hookhand I would sing as he played his new Christmas song. We have stuff to do Eugene."

"Right behind you Blondie," he grinned then paused as he noticed the clouds and gotten thicker and snowflakes had begun to fall.

"Well would you look at that," he shook his head. "And here I didn't think we'd have a white Christmas this year."

"We probably wouldn't," Rapunzel shrugged. "But it probably just means Anna, Elsa, and Kristoff have just arrived. We did invite them after the coronation after all."

"Oh… Eugene stared at the snow clouds and shivered, remembering the crazy blizzard Elsa had caused. "You sure it's safe?"

"Doesn't matter," Rapunzel grinned. "We got each other remember? You coming?"

Eugene returned her smile. She was right of course. He quickly followed her toward the stairs then paused.

"Wait… so Anna, Elsa, and Kristoff… does that mean they left Sven and Olaf there?"

"Eugene…"

"I'm just saying… if they did bring those guys. We should introduce them to Ulf… they'd get along great."

She rolled her eyes and continued down the stairs. Eugene finally just shrugged and caught up with her, remembering where the Mistletoe was in the courtyard. She picked up the pace and he had to push himself to catch up with her. A laugh escaped her mouth once they cleared the stairs and could see the decorations again.

"Best. Christmas. Ever!"

* * *

Merry Christmas to my Disney Girl!


End file.
